What does it mean to be a man?


Four generations of Kolosik men. Zion, my dad, my grandpa, and me.

Manhood is such a hard thing to define. We have a common phrase to ‘be a man’, but really I think that just means to toughen up. Or does to toughen up define a man? I know some men that aren’t all that tough, myself included.

Each day I stare into the eyes of my son, and can’t help but see my face in the reflection of his eyes. This sort of scares the crap out of me. It’s like he sees the junk deep down inside of me that no one else sees. Not even what my wife can see. I know he doesn’t really see all the junk I have inside, but it feels that way. I know that one day he will leave my home with an idea of what a man is based on how I live and model to him. Much like I have a perspective of what a man is from the two men in the picture with Zion and myself.

Meeting Kasie made me want to be a better man. The same is true with my son. He makes me want to be a better man. But before I can be a better man, I must dig in and figure out just what makes a man a man (Spoiler alert: I won’t be answering this question in this post). 

I’ve read a ton of books on this stuff. I’ve read Wild at Heart, I’ve gone through Men’s Fraternity, I’ve listened to many podcasts from different pastors, and of course I’ve read the Bible for insight as well. Hollywood also give us some diverse perspectives and definitions of men as well (Just watch season 1 episode 1 of Last Man Standing). I’m not certain I have a concrete definition of manhood yet, but I do like the Men’s Fraternity definition as a starting point, but not necessarily a complete definition. They give the definition to manhood that a man is one who 1) Rejects passivity, 2) Accepts Responsibility, 3) Leads Courageously, and 4) Invests Eternally.

My prayer is that God would continue to give me wisdom and insight on how to raise this little man staring into my soul. I’m so thankful I have my incredible wife to raise him with. This way he knows how to treat a lady, and has a good perspective on woman as well. It’s not just about how to act or do the right thing, but have the right character and heart.

What do you think defines a man? What has helped you to understand this tough question?


5 thoughts on “What does it mean to be a man?

  1. Hi Noah. For several years now my wife and I have been feienlg more and more pulled to Christian homesteading but have not acted on it like we should. This desire has more intensified as of late, and I happened to come across your website this weekend. I was more than intrigued just with the similarities, including our last name, the name of our sons (I have a son named Enoch Sanders too), homeschooling, etc. It may have just been a strong coincidence, but it might have also been a confirmation from God that I need to quit thinking and planning and start doing. Thanks for putting this out there. I appreciate it, and I know others do too.

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